Thursday, November 15, 2007

john's shot


ok...lots to talk about here. You definitely took my advice on restaging this shot, but this sort of thing takes a little time. You've solved some problems and introduced new ones, but that's part of the process.

In looking at these sorts of shots, I try to address the biggest issues first and work my way out. For starters, the overhead foreshortened perspective is causing your eye to shoot way off of the page.

Solution 1. lower the camera, raise the guy up a bit to be more eye level with the woman.
solution 2. kill the initial establishing shot and move the piano further back on the sidewalk. then do a slow pan, or closer cut to them talking.

You could keep the initial establishing shot, but i would bring the camera closer and have their postures looking down at it.

I think for the main shot with both characters, you probably want her to at least look down or away more, so we read her expression. it can be ok to do an over the shoulder shot - but right now you're showing so much of both characters that i think you need to use their bodies a bit more.

frame 98ish.
you've ruined...you might as well have her looking down at the piano while saying this, holding in that moment of anger about the dropped piano.

112
remember, when someone holds a rope, the weight falls from the point of contact, meaning he can't just slide his hands down. he can pull up to that point, or slide down a bit. but having both hands converge into a central point kills your weight. I would rethink his pose..it might be cool to have him lean towards her, lifting one hand off the rope, but keeping the top hand rooted in place. right now you're animating the rope as if it's a gutter or pole. i think you need to add a couple of joints or clusters and have him seem like he can really balance on that thing (see the second sketchover i did, for an example)

181
i like the hand pose, but again, the weight shift feels unconvincing. Also, you need a few breakdown frames in this to make the acting read more clearly. you slide up with the hand and do nothing with the feet. this completely kills the weight.


example of rope climb...there's plenty on youtube, but watch how the body moves with every arm movement

213
the 'alas poor yorick' pose. we're all guilty of it, but this is a huge acting cliche. also, he's raising his hand quite high and holding it there for a long time. i would subdue that arm. also, the line seems so conversational, it seems perfect for talking to her, to himself, but all in a glib way. the held pose is such an emphatic way of doing this, that i would make it a more casual body gesture and leave room to play up that moment of dialogue. you start to do it on 227 but then go back to the other pose. you can also have him relax a bit and go back to holding the rope, since it requires a lot of effort to stay held.

321
not any more...
it seems like this is a great opportunity to use the pose to show a kind of sheepish awkward moment. or disinterested and continuing with the glibness of the line. looking away feels a little halfway there..he's kinda evasive, but not really. again...a super clear pose will help you a lot. he can also look down during her line, and back up to deliver this line.

in short, you've set up another very complicated shot...it's not unachievable, but you really need to simplify this a bit and clarify each moment so that you can build upon it.

let me know if this is clear enough...

-j






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