At last, a crit for Brent. My work schedule has been rather agressive lately, so this blog and extra crits are suffering, nontheless, here's a few comments.
this is coming along. You've made a lot of camera cuts to this and it's gone from something problematic (divided plane) to something easier to connect with. Remember to use frame numbers with these, as it's easier to critique.
Now that they aren't separated by the hill, it seems less like trench warfare and more like they're on the same side, mostly due to yellow hat's casual pose. Overall I like the range of motion the characters have. Conceptually what's throwing me is that the fact that the guy in the yellow hat can put a cap in him without breaking a sweat...it might make greater tension if they have their weapons fixed on each other the entire time, like a standoff, or you could increase the depth of the trench and have the yellow hat further back in space. Right now, with the forshortening, it looks like he can reach over and pat green guy on the head.
With what you have though..i think the initial shoulder shrug causes the gun to lose weight in the beginning, and it's not fluid...the poppiness of the motion causes it to feel light as well. making the guns feel heavy will also add gravity to the situation, pun intended.
You're blinking with both your brows and eyelids at the same time. calm the eyebrows down a bit. With the top guy, show more of his face...he's looking offscreen a bit too much right now, making him feel less engaged with the other character.
the first part feels too much like a cycle, where he's looking at his empty cup. if he's trying to pour drops out of it, he can hang it over his head and try to shake out the last drop of coffee. I can relate to that moment. Or if he's noticing he has no more in his cup, he can look down into it, and casually turn it over, noticing it's empty. Explore the acting in this one, as it sets the stage for the rest of the animation.
the collapse. feels ok, but the coffee arm comes down too slowly- feels like it should hit 3 frames earlier. with his head rub, watch the drift on his head, and watch the interpenetration of the hand on the table. the readjustment of the cup feels a bit rubbery as well...maybe make the readjustment happen after the coin drop.
coin drop. i can barely tell what's going on..i would have the hand come in higher, and pause while dropping the coins in..make that moment really clear, then pull the arm offscreen.
the take. he does a surprised take and then gets instantly angry. he should either rise, looks surprised, notice the coins and then get angry, or angrily get up as he heard the coins clink.
the parade of takes.
here's your current acting.
has no coffee.
falls to the table.
person drops coins into his cup, mistaking him for a beggar.
he gets up in suprise
does a happy take, looking ecstatic.
pulls coin out, looking happy still, but to a lesser degree.
orders a coffee, looking the same degree of happy.
you've improved this quite a bit, but it still has a ways to go. i think you turn the emotion up to 11 way too soon. i think he can look in his coffee, maybe expecting a penny and look like he's concentrating on the activity of getting the coin. he can then look really happy as he realizes he can afford more coffee. after that, he can look self satisfied that he's able to get his coffee. just watch the degrees of his emotion. also, watch the fluidity of his hand/elbow arcs on his pose changes, and watch that things don't happen at the same time.
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