Monday, November 23, 2009

Devin..crit

devin13b1

static composition

devin14

narrow range of motion

devin15 devin16

explore foreground/alternate staging

Some nice things going on here, but right now the biggest problem is still staging. It's composed like you're sitting in the audience of a play. Looking at the yellow sketchover I did, there's clear shapes the characters fit into and never leave, adding to a static feel. Looking at the sketch underneath that, it's a range of motion ghosted image composite. In a nutshell, your character is bolted in place in a widely framed composition, which demands at least a solid weightshift. I don't mind the acting on the guy, but she needs to solidify her performance a bit. Maybe take a step or 2 and then turn away. Or explore alternate compositions to focus on more detailed performance. I quickly did 2 cut and paste versions to see how the characters hold up.

1 comment:

Isa said...

I think Jeff is right here, I hope Devin doesn't mind me bugging in his business, but I agree that her feet are too planted on the ground, perhaps when she says "a nice ass" she could stomp her foot forward and look all angry at the guy.